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i swear i'll tear you apart

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i'll start it out :) [13 Jan 2006|08:02pm]
[ mood | good ]

from colors





from black



(and back to colors and blonde and colors and block and i don't even know @$*^&$!*&$)

to dark blonde/brownish



to blonde!

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i can't style hair. don't call this loser!!! [29 Oct 2005|10:58am]
[ mood | blah ]

a slave to hairCollapse )
...si? COMMENT BITCHESSS

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my life officially sucks [19 Oct 2005|03:59pm]
[ mood | sad ]

i don't know what i am going to do after highschool. i was looking at ltc.com but a career in computers sounded so boring. so i don't know what i am doing with my life, i fucking hatee it. i'm scared and upset and y'know? it's just like... what am i going to do with my life. i don't want to go to college but i have to because if i don't i will have a shit ass job. so wtf. i don't know what i want to do with myself. i don't know what i want to do with myself. i don't know what i want to do with myself.
i don't know what to do.

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no maine pix yet... [06 Sep 2005|05:05pm]
[ mood | pissed ]

EHHHHHHHHH!!!!! i want to get new senior pictures because mine are ok but my hair looks bad and my clothes are gross. i want to get new ones. i don't care if its at a cheap person, i just want something else. but my mom said too bad. ehhhhh. i am sad. i really don't like mine. and i know we're poor n shit but i'm only a senior once and my picture is what people will look at and i don't like it. ahhhhh it totally sucks. i'm so pissed. ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

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i'm back [25 Aug 2005|10:15pm]
i wasn't going to post anything until i got my pictures but that will be a while. it was awesome. so much fun. i liked visiting my relatives and the beach. maine is awesome, you should try it sometime!
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out on the east coast maybe it recides in you my dear [11 Aug 2005|10:53am]
[ mood | chipper ]

today i am going down to milwaukee with my parents and coty. coty and i had a big fight last night but we are cool now. we are going to a hotel tonight and go swimming and stuff. then in the morning we are going to the airport and going to maine! so exciting. i can't wait. i will want to go shopping hahah. coty has more money than me but not a whole lot. i can't wait to go to the beach. the sand will be so hot it burns your feet. ahhhhh i am so hyped. i will take many pictures. i will bring my dig and my moms dig cam and then i will buy like 5 disposable cams. haha. so awesome. ~ciao kids! merr.

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so excited. [03 Aug 2005|11:19pm]
[ mood | weird ]

i am soooooo excited! tomorrow i am going up the the rez with coty and his dads family. and that will be cool. the pow wows are awesome. and next weekend i am going to MAINNNEE! ah i love it. i can't wait. ahhhhhhhhhh. i am so excited for all of this. can't wait. wish me fun!

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[27 Jul 2005|12:40pm]
TODAY I AM GOING TO THE DENTIST AT 1:30. SUX. YEAH BUT AFTER THAT I AM GOING TO LOOK FOR SENIOR PICTURE CLOTHES. IT'S WEIRD THAT I AM THIS OLD. I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT I AM GOING TO DO FOR A PROFESSION. BUT ANYWAYS YEAH I WILL PICK OUT A FEW THINGS BECAUSE YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BRING A VARIETY OF CLOTHES OR SOMETHING. BUT YEAH AFTER THAT I AM GOING TO HANG OUT WITH NICOLE. MAYBE THAT IS, I DON'T KNOW. LAST TIME WE WERE SUPPOSED TO HANG OUT ME COTY ZAC AND HER TO HAVE A MOVIE AND PIZZA PARTY. BUT THEY DIDN'T COME AND INSTEAD WENT BOWLING WITH NICOLES FRIEND DANIELLE. HOW RUDE. SO YEAH SHE MIGHT BE OVER AT 3:00-3:30. SHE ASKED IF SHE COULD SLEEP OVER BUT I DON'T THINK SO BECAUSE MY MOM STARTED WORKING AGAIN THE OTHER DAY AND TODAY IS WEDNESDAY. CRRRAZY. NOT REALLY. EHHH. I DON'T KNOW IF I AM GOING TO HANG OUT WITH COTY TODAY. HE IS GETTING HIS SENIOR PICTURES DONE AT LIKE 5:00 I THINK. I DUNNNO, I WILL CALL HIM.
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need more friends [24 Jul 2005|10:29pm]
[ mood | bored as hell ]

ha yeah i have nothing to do. normally i go to sleep at 2 or 3 am these days and wake up around 12 hours later. ehh... last night was interesting for me. new stuff. exciting/interesting. it was cool but then the party migrated to a new house and coty and i went back to his house. note to self: must do this again. need more fun. comma slash colon mark exclamation question mark space bar period.

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[22 Jul 2005|03:59pm]
[ mood | bored ]

my mom got a new kittyCollapse )

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JULY 01 2005, LIKE THE SPUN WALL? [01 Jul 2005|12:49am]
[ mood | TRYING OUT THE CAPS ]

HA YEAH COTY AND I HAD OUR 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY. SO COOL. WELL NOT REALLY THE DAY BUT THE PRESENT WAS THE SHIT. HE CARES ABOUT ME SO MUCH. =) YEAH AND TOMORROW I WE ARE GOING CAMPING WITH MY FAMILY, KATE, JOE, AND ISAIAH. UP TO HIGH CLIFF. IT WILL BE COOL BECAUSE IT'S HIGH CLIFF UP BY LAKE WINNEBAGO. AND YEHA IT'S ALMOST 4TH OF JULY. IT'S COOL THERE BECAUSE YOU CAN SIT ON THE CLIFF AND WATCH FRIEWORKS GO OFF IN LIKE 3 DIFFERENT CITIES ACROSS THE LAKE. IT'S THE BOM DIGGITY. BUT YEAH MY STOMACH HURTS RIGHT NOW. AND I NEED TO WAKE UP AT 8 TOMORROW. SHOULS I GET VODKA TO BRING TO THE CAMPSIT NDMAKE IT FUNNER? I DON'T KNOW. BUT IF SO I NEED TO TALK TO ADAM. YEAHHHHH. WELL NO ONE READS THIS ANYWAYS ANYMORE SO BYE.


PS : OMG I CAN'T WAIT TILL WE GO TO MAINNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEE!

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cool beans. [19 Jun 2005|02:26pm]
[ mood | okay ]

shit i typed all this shir for you people and then deleted it on accident. well yeah from wed-fri i was with coty up north at lake winneconne fishing ans stuff with his dad and uncle. then from fri-sun i was camping at crooked lake with coty, adam, antonio (ANTWAN), laura, and amanda. it was coool. lots of partying. and i have to say i love swimming when high. it's the best shit evaaaa. yeah well now today i think i might hang out with nicole and then later on tonight coty and i are invited to hang out with adam. which is always cool. yeah so today is fathers day and it's really gay. my grandpa is here. hahah. well yeah i am going to play 007 with coty now. bye.

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oh just sitting here without a shirt on... [05 Jun 2005|09:53pm]
[ mood | pissed ]

yeah well i woke up at 4pm today. weird. i was so confused. hopefully i won't stay up all night now. well yeah i dunno. i think i am going to fail one or two of my classes. it sucks because i don't know if i will be going to maine this summer or not. AND IT IS SHITTY CAUSE I WANNA GO REALLY BAD. and yeah i don't know if my parents will let me go. but maybe they will. i am so excited that school is over soon. but then again i don't want it to end because then i get my grades and then i get yelled at and belittled because i can't handle fucking high school. well i can but i don't try. you all know how it is. school is fucking stupid and the resistance/hate towards it grows everyday. how can i fucking succeed in a place that i hate almost as much my brother (ha). well yeah don't my parents fucking know that highschool gets harder every year? yeah maybe i was a good student whe i was in fucking middle school. but people change. jesus christ. it's like they want me to be like kate or excell even more than she did in highschool but she was doing good in school. she got arrested a few times, i am on that path too. maybe they want me to be better but i guess its too fucking late. oh well ahh i just wish i didn't have school because then fucking 85% of my problems would be gone. AHHH I JUST HATE SO MUCH RIGHT NOW. i hate going through the same fucking yelling and punishments everytime i get a bad fucking grade. it happens. i'm not a good kid anymore. i always get bad grades. i'm fucking worthless, helpless, lost.
on other notes... i have no job. i need money. for many things. coty wants me to go to florida with him to disney world. its like fucking 250$ for a park pass to just be there, and like 250$ for the plane ticket. so yah., i don't have that fucking kind of money. never will. i would be so suprised if my parents would actually give me money for that. but yeah coty said he would help me get the money but he won't even have a job for the summer. ahh and he needs money to go with me to maine (if i CAN go) and he doesn't even have any money to spend for there. ahhhh. i am just so frustrated! yeah well coty said if we don't go to florida (cause i don't have a fucking job for money) that he would ask his mom to go to the mall of america over the summer. his summer or next i don't know. but yeah. probably not. i don't know. shitty times.
oh yah and i look like a fucking pice of shit. i wear the same fucking clothes every week. i have 4 pairs of pants. and i only like to wear 2 of them. and one of them has fucking rips in it and shit cause i'm too fucking fat. and i haven't got any new clothes is who fucking knows how long my parents never buy me any shit because we are fucking poor and they can't waste any money on me (even though my mom buys fucking 200$ fish tanks and SHIT for my brother whenever he whines for it). i know i am fucking lazy and selfish but jesus i am a fucking teenager.
i have no clothes. i'm fat as hell. i have no friends. and fucking depressed. i'm glad i have coty because he keeps me away from destorying myself, and towards improving myself and my life. i am lazy, i need a job. but i am too fucking lazy to do anything. i also need a fucking drivers liscence but my family is also too poor for that shit (and it is outragously priced) so how do they expect me to get ahead in life when they won't let me get any of the things normal kids get when they are supposed to. i am fucking 17 and i have no job (because of my dad) and no drivers liscence, and no fucking life. most kids have this shit when they are fucking 16. i will probably get my liscence by 18 hopefully. they see i am fucking troubled and they are just making it worse. wtf. i hate myself for all this shit. i know coty wants to help and keep me away from drugs and becoming a self destructive beached whale. but sometimes i just don't see it happening. i'm fucked.

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[24 May 2005|04:24pm]
[ mood | touched ]

yo yo yo check this. awesome awesome awesomest pic, eva.Collapse )
hhhaaa ♥♥♥ bye yo.

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holy shit! [23 May 2005|06:48pm]
[ mood | church-like song ha ]

holy shit! i told you about those pictures my mom deleted! well sarah gave themCollapse )
to me. isn't that awesome! cool times. hahaha yeah weird times. but also cool as hell. yeah. well i miss my pictures. =(

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too drunk [13 May 2005|11:45pm]
[ mood | drunk ]

myspace is fucking GAY. faggots....

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[09 May 2005|09:09pm]
[ mood | my eyes hurt ]

coty is great..... sometimes..ha..

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[08 May 2005|10:07pm]
[ mood | poopy ]

ah yeah my computer was shut down but i felt the need to type this so yeah here i am. uh i was watching thirteen (which coty HATES) and yeah i like it so yeah. its stupid and sad and funny. yeah i dunno i think i want to buy that movie (along with many others). but i want to kinda be free like that. i know its bad or whatever and yeah it all comes crashing down on the girls in the end.. but yeah i think it would be fun to do whatever the fuck i wanted to. yeah i'm a self-destructive whore. but yeah i don't know what i want to do..... like i wanna live out my life well while i'm young so you know i don't do bad things when i'm older and stuff cause thats when i will need to be mature and can't be a teen anymore..... watch out! here's a fat girl falling..

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i have a new obsession with head automatica (they rock) [03 May 2005|04:02pm]
[ mood | ouch ]

mixed emotions. head hurts. ow. confused. amused. scared.

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kerplink [28 Apr 2005|04:44pm]
[ mood | bored ]

oohhhh! i love my new wallpaper! i love eternal sunshine. it rocks ASS. YOOOOO. i love it son. so yeah hahah bye.




edit: haha now it's doniie darko. w00.

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